Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Bronchitis and other things I'd like to get off my chest

Dear Bronchitis,
It was lovely of you to stop by to visit last week. I enjoyed the killer sore throat, chills and body aches. The fluid on the ears was a nice touch that not everyone would have been considerate enough to share, but you are not one to forget the details! So thanks for that as well.

Taking a day off to visit the doctor was high on my list of ways to use my remaining vacation days before being forced to waste them spending time with family and friends during Christmas.  I especially loved how you made yourself so evident--flamboyant even--that when I opened my mouth for the Doctor to see, he responded with "Oh, Yuck!" Just what every patient wants to hear!
 
Since I have already used all of my medical flex money this year, I was glad to know that my visit and prescription co-pays would be providing the government with their full taxes (Lord knows they'll spend it wisely).

Thanks for talking to your two friends, Antibiotic and Steroids, for me and letting them know how well I handle both medications. They really kicked it into high gear helping me feel like I was out partying until 6am and then bloating me up to feel like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.  I really feel like I missed out on a big rite of passage in college by never getting drunk and waking up with a hangover, but thanks for filling that void and showing me exactly what I was missing. It's even better now that I get to drive 30 miles to a high-stress job instead of walking a few blocks to sit through an Oral Comm. lecture.

It's been a week and I know you'd like to hang around longer. You even mentioned introducing me to your colleague, Pneumonia, but I think it's about time we parted ways. I see the sore throat and cough symptoms have all but packed their bags, but it's time to pack up the nausea, exhaustion and cobweb brain and be on your merry way.  I'd help you, but I think I'll just sit here a while longer and watch the Christmas tree lights spin.

Warm Regards,
Cobo

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