Books I Could Write: Part I

The Eternal Intern: Lessons Learned from Menial
Jobs

One Chapter for every position I held from age 16-24

1. Pharmacy Clerk
2. Bun Wrapper (night shift at the bakery)
3. Chinese Cafe Waitress/Cashier/Busboy
4. Nameplate Engraver
5. Merchandise Ass't Supervisor at Family Theme Park
6. Radio Station Intern
7. American Red Cross Intern
8. Financial Planning Firm Intern
9. Marketing Program Administrator at plastic septic tank manufacturer
10. Brand Manager at Candy Marketing Company

How to Raise a Lazy Beagle

Work in Progress...

How Not to Get a College Scholarship: A Tale of Bitterness and Rejection

1. Do be valedictorion of your *tiny* high school class
2. Do be involved in at least 12 activities, bonus points if you are President or Captain of more than one
3. Do take the ACT test 3 years in a row in order to get the exact same score each time, a score more than double that of a guy you were dating at the time who later got an athletic scholarship
4. Do go to a small public high school that does not offer any AP classes except calculus which is utterly useless in your chosen career field (and anyone's for that matter:)
5. Do have a genius older sister who gets a full-ride scholarship to the same university you end up attending, raising your expectations that you too could earn that education (not your fault, sis, I couldn't have done college without you!)
6. Do travel four hours for on-campus interviews and spend weekends scouring the internet for scholarships instead of living up your social life
7. Do be a National Merit Finalist but want to go to a college that offers zero scholarships for this while schools you don't want to go to offer full-rides
8. Do NOT have a disability, hardship, or sob-story to tell the evaluators
9. Do NOT have a parent who works for the local electric cooperative, is a veteran, or came through Ellis island with not two guilders in their pocket but a heart full of dreams.
10. Do NOT NOT use double negatives in your essays

How Could I Possibly Be Out of Sugar? Life and Times of a Grocery Stockpiler

Working Title: I am a Child of My Mother