What's in a Name?

For some people, one of the most exciting things about waiting for baby is picking out a name. Some parents rely on old family names, some go for traditional names, some base it solely on the meaning and origin, and some insist on picking something unique, unusual, or witty. Most parents have their child's best interest at heart, but it's hard not to raise an eyebrow at other choices. Case in point: the Sanford Cradle Roll recently posted a lovely little girl named...wait for it...Araya Sunshine. I think they took "Don't Worry, Be Happy" a little too seriously. But, okay, man, peace out.

There are plenty of sites out there providing lists, search engines, and even random generators regarding baby names. But little attention is given to one of my family's favorite past times: naming pets. Our dogs growing up were Zonker and Tanza (whom we also called Taco, Bear, Fobby, and the uber-descriptive but impersonal "Dog"). My sister and mom have been known to spend all of 3 days pondering the perfect name of a beta fish. A multitude of farm cats have had the widest range of names possible. Some were entirely unimaginative, like Midnight, Lucky, and Happy. Some sound better when you hear the whole litter together: Gigi, Guzy, Kirby, and Mr. Sancho. There was a pure black cat named Boo and a pure white cat named Boker. She may have met her match in a snowplow (did I mention she was pure white?) and mothered a gray kitten that looked suspiciously like her brother, Louie, but she had one heck of a name.

When my husband and I decided to get our beagle a few weeks after moving into our first house, we knew we needed to find the perfect name. I really wanted "Hondo", but after picking out a female dog, we decided maybe a something less Samuel L. Jackson-ish was in order. My mom, DH, and I decided we would all think about a name on the day we were scheduled to pick her up and then compare notes at the end of the day. To our surprise, we had all come up with one common name on our lists---Nika [nee-kah]. It turned out to be the perfect name for our dog, but it is, of course, not all we call her. Here are some other names she may or may not respond to:

• Nikster [neek-stir]
• Nikerbocker
• Pukster [pook-stair] (can also be used a a verb, like "Quit pukstering around out there!"
• Nika Puka Maka (we once had 2 fish named Puka and Maka, just so we could say the 3 in combination)
• Stinky Ears (obvious reasons)
• The Laziest Lazy (also obvious)
• Nika Fuku Moto (her Iron Chef name)
• Heinz (heavy on the German accent, after an unfortunate ketchup incident)
• Derg (but only in plural, like "Let's take the dergs for a walk," referring to cousin Milo, who also goes by "Mahalo" and "Stink"

Just for fun, I plugged her name into some online name generators.

First, Pirate names (because really, who needs a traditional Dutch name? We just haven't raised a Wilhelmina here, people.) First result was Nona Misty Summer, but that is a pansy pirate name compared to Betty Flog'em. I think Dry Bone Bronson is a little too masculine. Wong Long Tongue is freakishly descriptive, especially since they didn't know it was a dog. My favorite so far is Wilma Peg Leg.

Moving onto Gansta names (because her street cred suffered some major damage after cowering to bunnies and being startled by blowing grocery bags). Mad Cow Train Jumpa isn't bad, but it is scary how accurate Dark Streetwalker is, in a literal sense. I think Lil' Phreak Legend may go to her head, plus I am fundamentally against purposely misspelling names. Something about Ice Mandingo makes me laugh-like does that mean you're a "cool dog" in an Australian gang?

Here's a few others:

• Nykka (Swedish Furniture name)
• Nerisaga Battlebeard (her Dungsweeper/Assasin Dwarf name if she were a character in D&D)
• Omnirok the Lightning Breather (Dragon name)
• Amelia Gladstone (Very British name)
• Kida Trent (Triceratops name)
• Shining Stealth (Secret Agent name)
• Ruby Chubb (Hobbit name)
• Miss Carol (Reggae name)

And perhaps, my favorite of the day:

• Nightmare Tubbybottom (kitty name)

In case you're curious, yes, we do have both a girl's name and a boy's name picked out, but no, neither will involve anything related to peg legs or tubby bottoms.