Sunday, July 17, 2011

How Not to Get to Hawaii

6:00am - Wake up, finish packing, apply travel patch to cause drowsiness, double vision, and cotton mouth
7:00am - Leave house
7:30am - Drop off dog at your parents
7:35am - Go visit your son who slept at Grandpa and Grandma's overnight so you could go to a wedding
8:30am - Tearfully say good-bye to little buddy boy and leave for airport
9:30am - Find parking spot at torn-up airport lot that is furthest from door.
10:00am - Reminisce about days when you didn't have to pay for 1 checked bag. Breeze through FSD security (the only way to fly)
11:00amTake off from Sioux Falls, South Dakota on a plane so small you can't even sit up straight if you have the window seat. Overhead bins? Forget it.
12:30pm Arrive in Minneapolis/St. Paul, eat overpriced Mickey D's that you can't taste anyway due to side effects of travel patch sucking every drop of moisture from your mouth/throat/nose. But at least you didn't puke.
2:00pm Get on plane
3:00pm Still on plane...on ground
4:00pm Still on plane...on ground
4:30pm Taxi back to gate and get off plane because left engine doesn't work and apparently Delta doesn't check that sort of thing until they are JUST about to take off on the runway
5:30pm Spend your $6 "meal" voucher on an iced Starbucks chocolate-something covered in whipped cream because it probably has as many calories as a full meal
6:30pm Get on another plane and finally take off for LA
9:00pm Land in LA to find out that the plane for Maui left without you and 45 other passengers. Collect your hotel voucher, 3 "meal" vouchers. Oh...and their apologies.
11:00pm Finally find last piece of luggage
12:00am Arrive and admire the palm trees!
 Nope! Not in Hawaii! At the Doubletree in LA! 
12:05am Announce to the hotel clerk that the warm chocolate chip cooke they just gave you is the best thing that happened to you all day.
5:00am Wakeup
6:00am Take shuttle to airport
7:30am Spend all 3 "meal" vouchers on an $18 breakfast in the shambles that is the LAX terminal
8:30am Get on plane...take 2!
9:30am Still on plane--computer problems
10:30am FINALLY take off for 5 hour flight
1:30pm (island time) This might have been worth it:

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